Swapping feet for wheels

Last Wednesday I had an operation on my collarbone - I wish it was more dramatic than it actually was, just for the story-telling purposes, but it was all very boring and I've ended up with a few stitches. While I was there I said I ran a lot (god I am so predictable) and the nurse was ADAMANT that I shouldn't be running for at least a week. Cue an absolute look of horror from me - ever the keen sportswoman - especially when the nurse said "if you go running, your stitches will split and it'll be irreparable, your wound will be GAPING OPEN". Now I don't know what other people think of when they hear the word gaping, but I was imagining an extra 'lady area' hanging off my collarbone. 

WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT

So, reluctantly, I've taken her advice and am having a run-free week. Bit annoying as I'd planned to do a 10k race and seemed to be running well, but THERE WE GO. Luckily one of my best friends Simone came to the rescue, and lent me her bike so that I don't become a fatty and/or find myself crawling up the walls with evening boredom. What a babe, I am eternally grateful.

The Simone-Wagon

I've just got back from my second bike ride this week and you know that extra lady area I was worried about? Well that was the least of my worries, apparently the one lady area that I have to deal with just isn't enjoying the bike as much as the rest of me. Think 'swollen'. ANYWAY, now we've got that out of the way...

The great thing about cycling is that you move so much quicker than when you're pounding the streets and ruining your ankle joints. I cycled 14 miles tonight in 1 hour - if I ran that fast I'd be setting some of short-woman world record. I also wasn't as disgustingly sweaty and out of breath, which was a nice change to my evening schedule. I don't know if I was just going quite slowly but an hour of cycling seemed to be a lottttt easier than an hour of running - maybe I wasn't working hard enough OR MAYBE I'M A BORN CYCLIST?! My lady parts are hoping not...

However I've also discovered that cyclists just aren't as happy as runners. I mean, yes maybe they all have sore genitals and are fed up of having thigh rash but there's no need to give such scathing looks to the clear amateur cyclist. After picking two flies out of my left eye on my first trip on the bike, I half-considered wearing my sunglasses... But I decided against it - I didn't think the middle-aged men in their shop-bought Great Britain jerseys would appreciate my fake Raybans, bleach blonde ponytail and little shorts, looking like I was starring in the opening credits of The O.C. I whacked on my lycra and shoved my hair up in an attempt to look semi-professional, but still got dirty looks and tutted at as they overtook me, obviously sticking to their 'formation' as if they're competing in a stage of the Tour de France. YES I KNOW WHAT THAT IS, I WORK FOR A TRIATHLON MAGAZINE. What I like about running is the cute little waves, nods and smiles that you get from fellow road runners, no matter how fast or slow they are going. It's just nice to be encouraging to the whole world, preach sisterrrrrrrr.

Not enjoying life, and with added bucktooth

I found it quite scary trying to control the bike, and myself, and keep the flies out of my mouth. Running is completely different; if I want to stop I can just do it myself, but having an extra component to think about made it a bit of a nervous wreck. Riding along the main road was well scary, mainly because I didn't have a helmet (probably why I was getting such dirty looks, not wearing a helmet must be akin to not having your headlights turned on) but once I got onto the cycle path, remembered that I was super-sassy and am not scared of 45-year old overweight men, I got quite into the swing of things. I nearly did run over two squirrels though, and I saw a rat. OH and Mr Billsberry, who was a wiiiicked art teacher at my school. 

The other thing I was a bit worried about was getting thighs like Chris Hoy's. Incidentally, his thigh circumference is the same as my waist so that would look absolutely ridiculous and also COME ON EMMA you've been for two bike rides just chill out. 

I have quite enjoyed my time off (I may have spent £110 on whiskey at the weekend, whatever) however I'm excited to get back running ASAP. Also, hunching over a bike just cannottttt be good for my posture, and also walking like you've soiled yourself just ain't a good look. 

Really ladylike and classy tweet...