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| WAAAAHH |
Anyway I felt quite good, having passed up on a chicken burger yesterday lunch and opted for a 'gluten-free sandwich' instead - as yummy as it sounds, for those wondering - and we got to Gloucester at 8.15am. Thanks to my as-yet unresolved gluten problems and my nerves (and breakfast banana) kicking in, I headed straight for the loo. The line was akin to something you'd find at Glastonbury (plz see previous posts) and it soon become clear that the porter loos hadn't arrived. Ah well, two toilets for 500 nervous runner, SHOULD BE FINE - anyone ever heard of 'runners stools'? hahahah sorry... Not the fault of the organisers obviously, but it did mean the race had to be pushed back by 10 minutes to allow for everyone to dump their loads. I was in and out rather quickly (GROSS) and headed over to the start line. I positioned myself quite near the front, next to the 'sub-50 minute' sign. Andddddd GO:
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| The queue for the toilet *not really |
0-1km:
'WOW EMMA YOU ARE FABULOUS!!! Check you out, running with all these skinny running men. Oh hang on, no one else seems to be putting in that much effort....'. I made that classic mistake of thinking I was going to break the world record for 'worst pacing ever' and went off a bit quick. In fact, one man behind me said to his mate "oh shit, we've just done a 4.10min kilometre. Let's try and hang on until we die". Great tactics, I'd say.
1-2km:
The men who were planning on dying were running right up my ass. This was annoying but kept me going, as I was wearing really short shorts and therefore felt like I should run fast enough to justify wearing them. DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE JOB YOU'VE GOT, as they say... Lots of cutie 'mature' people were out and about, strolling through Gloucester, which was nice. I made sure I smiled at them all really aggressively, to dispel any bad thoughts about the youth of today.
2-3km:
My legs were notttt feeling wonderful or loose and I was mentally having a go at myself for not warming up properly. Coach Dave will not be hearing about this slight mishap on my behalf... There was a water station at 3km but I pretend my throat isn't drying up like Ghandi's flip-flop (haha, classic joke right there), sail on past and check my watch. Under 14 minutes, not bad for an old gal.
3-4km:
This was a bit of a blur, probably because I refused some life-saving water, but I trundled on like a depleting hippo (I remember feeling very slow at this point, questioning if I should be allowed to even own a pair of shorts). The man behind me nearly got hit by a car and shouted 'prick' at the diver really loudly. I turned around to make sure he was okay, obviously he chose that moment to overtake me... arguably he was also a prick.
4-5km:
'OH FUCK THIS' - this was me at around 4.3km. I stopped and walked (sad face). I don't really know why as I was going quite fast and was on for a 23ish minute 5km - maybe I just fancied a rest? I am so lazy. A man who looked like a walking (running) advert for protein shakes and fake tan gave me a pat on the back and told me to keep going. This was surprisingly helpful and I started running again, before being overtaken by three ladies at once!!! It was a mass takedown of the small little blonde girl in the Bristol vest :(
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| This was me at 6.30 this morning |
5-6km:
Hmmmm, I want to say this is where we ran along the canal? I really can't remember, I'm sorry. Nothing to report here.
6-7km:
AH!!! During my 6th kilometre, I realised that some of the markers were in the wrong place. It took me 7 minutes to get from the 6th to the 7th marker... Now I don't want to be a twat but I really, really don't think it would take me that long... okay I sound like a twat BUT it's true. Also I ended up running next to a man who was wearing a Garmin, and his watch beeped for 7km around a minute and a half before we reached the marker. No biggie and all that, but it was quite hard on my self-esteem as I started thinking maaaaybe I was running that slowly?
7-8km:
Thanks to the earlier marker cock-up, it was a mere 3 minutes before I reached the 8km marker. EXCELLENT WORK EMZ. My legs were really aching at this point and I was a bit delirious. We had to run past Costa Coffee and TGI Fridays, where the workers all cheered us on. I was also running with a big group of men and a marshall shouted 'GO ON GIRL!!!'. What a babe, this made me feel like Paula Radcliffe in a sea of Mo Farah's. Obviously not the case, but my self-esteem was back in balance.
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| Cuties |
8-9km:
I hit 8km in 38 minutes and didn't really have an excuse to do anything too horrendous time-wise. Fully aware that I'm an extremely unattractive runner already, I gave my best 'determined' face and tried to put in a bit of a sprint. With two kilometres to go. This was poor judgement from my part and I had to walk just before reaching the 9km marker... Luckily a really sweet 'mature' man was running just behind me and said 'come on girl, it's all downhill from here'......
9-10km:
That sweet elderly man was lying. As we turned the corner he looked at me and said 'oh, apart from this bit'. One last hill up through Gloucester High Street meant strange looks from the public (three women drinking coffee said 'why would you want to do that', I was asking myself the same thing). I hate hills and this one felt like a forever hill, would I ever reach the top? I did (obviously) and just had to make it down the long road to the finish. I'd buddied up with another Garmin-wearing man, and as we got to about 400m before the finish, his watched beeped for 10km. Never one to miss a trick, I took note of my time - 48.23 - and then heard my mum screaming at me to keep going. LOVE HER. I couldn't even manage a sprint finish, which I usually love (always a crowd pleaser) and crawled over the (400m too-long) line in 50.07.
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| This was after I cried for a bit |
Mum then ran over with a piece of paper brandishing 'my number' and a time of 46.20. WHAT WOWWWWW I am amazing. We then realised that I was 233, not 122, and hadn't in fact smashed my PB by 4 minutes. Anti-climax if I've ever had one. Well done to 122 though, you speeeeeed machine. I actually came 12th senior lady, 23rd lady overall and 158th out of 500 runners. So not as bad as my immediate cry-on-finish indicated.
After talking to other Garmin-wearers, and going by my running buddy's watch, the course was too long. And in the interest of making myself feel better about myself, I'm going with the Garmin... Controversial, maybe, but it means my 10km PB is now (kind of) officially 48.23. WOOOOO. I'll take that. Considering its only the 2nd time Gloucester have done this race, it was pretty well organised (apart from being a bit too long) and I will definitely be entering next year. Also the medal is really pretty........
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| YAY MEDAL |
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